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Forum: "Something to laugh about 2"

Bitte beachte die Netiquette! Doppeleinträge werden von der Redaktion gelöscht.

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Little Johnneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 05.07.2006 17:25:21

Little John wants to leave early
The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions asked first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm clever - that answer's mine!"
The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago ...'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln,"

The teacher said, "That's right, Susie, you can go." Johnny was mad. Susie had answered first.

The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King." The teacher said,"That's right, Mary, you can go."

Johnny was even madder than before. Mary had answered first.The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy".

The teacher said, "That's right, Nancy, you can go." Johnny was fuming. Nancy had answered first.

As the teacher sat down, Johnny muttered, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut." The shocked teacher asked, "Who said that?" Johnny jumped up and hollered, "Bill Clinton, see you Monday!


failing memoryneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: rhauda Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 05.07.2006 19:31:58

Any Other Name

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."

The other man said, "What's the name of the restaurant?"

The first man knits his brow in obvious concentration, and finally says to his companion, "Aahh, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"

His friend replies, "A Carnation?"

"No. No. The other one" the man says.

His friend offers another suggestion, "The Poppy?"

"Nahhhh," growls the man, "You know the one that is red and has thorns."

His friend says, "Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes, Yes that's it. Thank you!" the first man says.

He then turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?


Grinsneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: ines Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 05.07.2006 22:59:37

rhauda der ist echt gut! lg ines


als Antwort auf den obigen Sohn-Vater- Briefwechselneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: bernstein Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 06.07.2006 06:33:11 geändert: 06.07.2006 06:43:28

erzählte mir mein amerikanischer Gast noch die folgende Kurzfassung:

"Dear Dad, no, mon, no fun, your son."

"Dear Son, too bad you're sad - your Dad"


@bernsteinneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 06.07.2006 08:32:47 geändert: 06.07.2006 11:35:36

super, kurz und knackig!
Kind regards to your American guests


Qsouetin (?)neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: siebengscheit Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 06.07.2006 10:07:50 geändert: 06.07.2006 10:08:13

It's prttey fnuny how we can raed tihs einrte snetnece wtih all tehse ltters all out of palce, and we can cnotniue to keep raednig and sitll mekas snece of waht we are raeding. No mttar how mnay tmies you raed tihs oevr and oevr you can sitll mkae snece of it.
How is taht pssoible?



Answer
As long as the first and last letter of the word is in its correct position, you can position the middle let-ters in any order and still make sence of it. Our eyes just glance at he first and last letters of a word
Siebengscheit


Is punctuation important?neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 06.07.2006 14:57:50 geändert: 06.07.2006 15:30:21

Read this and decide for yourself!

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy-- will you let me be yours?
Gloria


Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours,

Gloria


As dictated by doctors (1)neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 06.07.2006 18:37:12 geändert: 07.07.2006 01:43:51

He collapsed on the sidewalk and died without medical assistance

He is married but not currently smoking.

The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

The patient had ear wax impaction, so I removed the ear. It was red and tender afterwards.

Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

He also has noted impotence and an inability to maintain an on for the past several months.
He is requesting assistance in this area.

The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989, when she got a divorce.

The throat shows tonsils that have been removed.

For the last three weeks his nose has been running pretty much nonstop. It is running down the back of his throat.

The patient is a 53-year-old police officer who was found unconscious by his bicycle.


As dictated by doctors (2)neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 07.07.2006 00:06:56 geändert: 07.07.2006 01:44:44

He was in a coma for a lengthy amount of time, receiving massive brain injuries and brain damage.

Her only other complaint on review of systems was of decreased hearing, largely when her teenage children are talking to her.

The patient is married, but sexually active.

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

Both her old and new noses have been placed in our album.

The skin was moist and dry.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.


Who is going to contribute No. 100 ????


Hey,neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 07.07.2006 18:37:16

warum drückt ihr euch um Nummer 100???

Also gut, es geht weiter:

As dictated by doctors (3)

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.

The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

She is numb from her toes down.

Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.

The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

She will return to me when she wishes to become pregnant.

Type this list of numbers alphabetically

Past history includes puberty and back surgery

To the best of the patient's knowledge, he has never fathered children, nor has his wife.



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