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Forum: "Something to laugh 3"

Bitte beachte die Netiquette! Doppeleinträge werden von der Redaktion gelöscht.

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Neeeiiinnnn klexelneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: ines Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 25.08.2006 20:40:26

bitte nicht aufhören zu denken...das machen doch eh' schon unsere Schüler! ...falls die jemals damit angefangen haben...
das ist nur die übliche Panik in meiner letzten Ferienwoche!
lg ines


spitze!neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: feul Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 25.08.2006 20:45:57

.....ich hab meine zwei eigenen kinder heut (sie durften sogar den taschenrechner verwenden!) getestet..........


Don't hurry...neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 26.08.2006 15:00:24

A Calendar for Rush Jobs

NEG FRI FRI FRI THU WED TUE
8 7 6 5 4 3 2
16 15 14 12 11 10 9
23 22 21 20 19 18 17
32 30 28 27 26 25 24
39 38 37 36 35 34 33


1. This is a special calendar for handling rush jobs. All rush jobs are needed yesterday. With this calendar, a job or project can be ordered on the 7th and delivered on the 3rd.

2. Many companies set Friday deadlines, so there are three Fridays in every week. This is also beneficial for those persons who are paid on Fridays.

3. There are eight new days added to each month to allow for month-end panic jobs.

4. There is no 1st of the month, thus avoiding late delivery of the previous month's last-minute panic jobs.

5. Monday morning hangovers are abolished, along with non-productive Saturdays and Sundays.

6. A new day -- Negotiation Day -- has been introduced keeping the other days free for uninterrupted panic.



Helpful Indianneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 26.08.2006 20:19:52


An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback"


It's tough to be a manneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 27.08.2006 10:47:35

Do you know how tough it is being a man...?

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

If you work too hard there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're pervert. If you don't, you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist. If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself. If you don't, you're not ambitious.

If she has a head ache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you're oversexed. if you don't, there must be someone else.

NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN! ........ THEY WANT TO!!


How to Be Happyneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: siebengscheit Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 27.08.2006 11:54:46


More than 100 years ago, author Robert Louis Stevenson offered the following tips for main-taining a positive attitude. They still apply today.
1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has some-thing of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, enmity, grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10. Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.
Robert Louis Stevenson


Difficult questions?neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 27.08.2006 15:17:42 geändert: 27.08.2006 15:18:34

Below, you'll find the questions that might just make up the world's easiest quiz... But, be careful... Giving correct answers is far harder than you think!

The Questions...

1. How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2. Which country makes Panama hats?

3. From which animal do we get catgut?

4. In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5. What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6. The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal?

7. What was King George VI's first name?

8. What color is a purple finch?

9. What country do Chinese gooseberries come from?

10. How long did the Thirty Years War last?


Please try to answer. You'll get the solution soon...


Come on...neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 27.08.2006 20:04:25



Solution - 6neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: siebengscheit Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 27.08.2006 20:10:06

Insula Canaria - not "Canaries", but Island of the Dogs.

Still thinking.....
Siebengscheit


4.neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: eiszauberin Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 27.08.2006 20:11:18

in november

the only thing I knew.....

eiszauberin


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