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Forum: "Something to laugh about 4"

Bitte beachte die Netiquette! Doppeleinträge werden von der Redaktion gelöscht.

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Einige Cartoons von Cathy Wilcoxneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: michaelu Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 28.10.2009 21:14:34 geändert: 28.10.2009 21:16:43

Wow !neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 28.10.2009 21:58:58

Hugh Laurie & Stephen Fry : Your name, Sir??neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 28.10.2009 22:20:21 geändert: 28.10.2009 22:20:54

From my latest eMailneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 04.12.2009 14:00:03

Proof reading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

* Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.
It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

I just couldn't help but sending this along. Too funny.
* Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No crap, really? Ya think?

* Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jay walkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!

* Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

* Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Good-for-nothing, lazy so-and-so's!

* Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

* War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

* If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

* Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

* Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

* Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

* Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

* Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

* Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

* Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

* Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....
* Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity
and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle).
We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!

Noah's Ark in Today's Societyneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 09.01.2010 22:09:52

I got this via email today..

The Lord speaks to Noah and says: "In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole Earth with water until all is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the Earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark."

In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark. "Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year."

Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud formed and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front yard weeping.

"Noah." He shouted, "Where is the Ark?"

"Lord, please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best but there were big problems. First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plans did not comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans.

Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system and floatation devices.

Then my neighbour objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission.

I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls.

However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls. So, no owls.

The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no owls.

When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard.

Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe.

Then the Army Corps of Engineer demanded a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe.

Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard!

The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes.

I just got a notice from the State that I owe some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a 'recreational water craft.'

Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event and therefore unconstitutional.

I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another 5 or 6 years," Noah wailed.

The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky.

Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you are not going to destroy the Earth, Lord?"

"No," the Lord sadly said, "the government already has!"

...neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: veneziaa Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 26.01.2010 18:15:10 geändert: 26.01.2010 18:15:41

In my homeland, Baden-Württemberg, we are all sitting in one boat ...

Wie war das doch gleich??neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 26.01.2010 18:25:59 geändert: 26.01.2010 18:31:29

B-W: Wir können alles außer HochdeutschEnglisch..

oder auch:
Where he right has has he right

ich hab ........neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: feul Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 26.01.2010 21:03:43

den link grad von meiner tochter geschickt bekommen, da bin ich doch froh, dass das nicht UNSRE vertretung in der EU is

Oettingerneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 26.01.2010 21:05:28

kann auch ohne Konzept Englisch frei sprechen...

...neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: piramia Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 26.01.2010 21:08:23

Na ja, er ist ja auch kläglich daran gescheitert deutsch zu lernen...

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