More of these...
A jolly old Southern colonel
Has a humorous sense most infolonel.
He amuses his folks
By laughing at jolks
That appear in the Ladies Home Jolonel
There was once a man not unique
In fancying himself quite a shique.
But the girls didn't fall
For this fellow at all,
For he only made thirty a wique.
There was a young girl in the choir
Whose voice went up hoir and hoir,
Till one Sunday night
It vanished from sight
And turned up next day in the spoir.
A handsome young gent down in Fla.
Collapsed in hospital ca.
A young nurse from Me.
Sought to banish his pe.
And shot him. Now what could be ha.?
My stenographer's notable glamour
Couldn't quite compensate for her gramour
She got me so ired
That I told her, "You're fired!"
Now I wish she were back again, damour!
A Mr. De Lyssa of Leigh
Started kissing his girl by the seigh.
"This can't be good kissing,"
Said the girl, "I hear hissing."
Said De Lyssa, still kissing, "That's meigh."
There was a young lady of Crete,
Who was so exceedingly nete,
When she got out of bed
She stood on her hed
To make sure of not soiling her fete.
Be sure when you're coasting on skis
To avoid running into the tris,
For it never is wise
To scratch out your ise
Or to let your poor nose or tose fris.
There once was a man who for hiccough
Tried all of the cures he could piccough,
And the best without doubt,
As at last he found oubt,
Is warm water and salt in a ticough.
A young lady crossing the ocean
Grew ill from the ship's dizzy mocean.
She said with a sigh,
And a tear in her eigh,
'To life I have no more devocean.'
Verses and Limericks collected by Bennett Cerf, Godfrey Dewey and Faith Daltry,
and published in Spelling Progress Bulletins.