More of these...

A jolly old Southern colonel
Has a humorous sense most infolonel.
He amuses his folks
By laughing at jolks
That appear in the Ladies Home Jolonel


There was once a man not unique
In fancying himself quite a shique.
But the girls didn't fall
For this fellow at all,
For he only made thirty a wique.


There was a young girl in the choir
Whose voice went up hoir and hoir,
Till one Sunday night
It vanished from sight
And turned up next day in the spoir.


A handsome young gent down in Fla.
Collapsed in hospital ca.
A young nurse from Me.
Sought to banish his pe.
And shot him. Now what could be ha.?


My stenographer's notable glamour
Couldn't quite compensate for her gramour
She got me so ired
That I told her, "You're fired!"
Now I wish she were back again, damour!


A Mr. De Lyssa of Leigh
Started kissing his girl by the seigh.
"This can't be good kissing,"
Said the girl, "I hear hissing."
Said De Lyssa, still kissing, "That's meigh."


There was a young lady of Crete,
Who was so exceedingly nete,
When she got out of bed
She stood on her hed
To make sure of not soiling her fete.


Be sure when you're coasting on skis
To avoid running into the tris,
For it never is wise
To scratch out your ise
Or to let your poor nose or tose fris.


There once was a man who for hiccough
Tried all of the cures he could piccough,
And the best without doubt,
As at last he found oubt,
Is warm water and salt in a ticough.


A young lady crossing the ocean
Grew ill from the ship's dizzy mocean.
She said with a sigh,
And a tear in her eigh,
'To life I have no more devocean.'

Quelle:
http://www.spellingsociety.org/news/media2006/limericks.php

Verses and Limericks collected by Bennett Cerf, Godfrey Dewey and Faith Daltry,
and published in Spelling Progress Bulletins.

schick ich gleich an meine Tochter
die krümmt sich auch bestimmt vor Lachen....

Danke

COMPUTERIZED NEWSLETTER:

They're know miss steaks in this newsletter cause we used special soft wear witch checks you're spelling. It is mower or lass a weigh to verify.
How ever it can knot correct arrows in punctuation ore usage: an it will not fined words witch are miss used butt spelled rite.
Four example; a paragraph could have mini flaws but wood bee past by the spell checker. And it wont catch the sentence fragment which you. Their fore, the massage is that proofreading is knot eliminated, it is still berry much reek wired.

Alliterated Prodigal Son - or - The Final Fixing of the Foolish Fugitive

_{Originally composed by Rev. W. O. Taylor}

Feeling footloose, fancy-free and frisky, this feather-brained fellow finagled his fond father into forking over his fortune. Forthwith, he fled for foreign fields and frittered his farthings feasting fabulously with fair-weather friends. Finally, fleeced by those folly filled fellows and facing famine, he found himself a feed flinger in a filthy farm-lot.
He fain would have filled his frame with foraged food from fodder fragments. "Fooey! My father's flunkies fare far fancier," the frazzled fugitive fumed feverishly, frankly facing fact. Frustrated from failure and filled with forebodings, he fled for his family. Falling at his father's feet, he floundered forlornly. "Father, I have flunked and fruitlessly forfeited further family favors . . ."
But the faithful father, forestalling further flinching, frantically flagged his flunkies to fetch forth the finest fatling and fix a feast. But the fugitive's fault finding frater , faithfully farming his father's fields for free, frowned at this fickle forgiveness of former falderal. His fury flashed, but fussing was futile. His foresighted father figured, "Such filial fidelity is fine, but what forbids fervent festivities? The fugitive is found! Unfurl the flags! With fanfare flaring, let fun, frolic and frivolity flow freely, former failures forgotten and folly forsaken. Forgiveness forms a firm foundation for future fortitude."

sagst du uns nochmal die Quelle? Lohnt es sich, sie ins Linkportal zu stellen?

lG

bernstein

Verbs is Funny

A boy who swims may say he swum,
But milk is skimmed and seldom skum,
And nails you trim; they are not trum.

When words you speak, these words are spoken,
But a nose is tweaked and can't be twoken.
And what you seek is seldom soken.

If we forget, then we've forgotten,
But things we wet are never wotten,
And houses let cannot be lotten.

The things one sells are always sold,
But fog dispelled are not dispold,
And what you smell is never smold.

When young, a top you oft saw spun,
But did you see a grin ever grun,
Or a potato neatly skun?

Grammar Police
"Metropolitan Diary" section of the NY TIMES (June 1, 1998)

Visiting an editor at Random House, I stepped into a crowded elevator and found myself pressed close to the control panel.
"Has everyone got their floors?" I asked.
After a moment's silence, a young female voice from the rear said, "His or her."
"I beg your pardon?" I said.
"His or her. It's 'Has everyone got his or her floors?' Your pronouns don't agree."
"And shouldn't it be 'his or her floor', not 'floors'?" a young man piped up.
"Each of us gets off at only one floor."
"And wouldn't it be better to say 'Does everybody have?' rather than 'Has everybody got?'" a third voice chimed in.
I stood corrected - and red faced. But I was glad to know that good grammar is alive and well.

And now to something completely different...

Leute, ihr müsst UMLERNEN und selber aktiv werden. Aus copyright - Gründen gibt's ab heute (fast) nur noch die Links zu irgendwelchen lustigen englischen Texten. Blättern müsst ihr selber. Aber ich hoffe, ihr bleibt uns treu und lest fleißig weiter. Und wenn ihr schon keine eigenen Beiträge schickt, _{was wir seeehr bedauern}, dann wären auch weiterhin ein paar Kommentare ganz lieb. Dann wissen wir wenigstens, dass unser Forum doch ein paar LeserInnen hat.
So, hier der erste Link:

http://www.4teachers.de/url/438
The man who stole 40,000 coat hangers

PS: Wer noch alte Geschichten von Freunden zugeschickt auf dem Rechner hat, darf sie natürlich gerne hier posten.

aber natürlich kann die Pointe nur im Englischen so knackig kurz formuliert sein wie in keiner anderen Sprache....