|Forum: "Something to laugh about 4"
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|Lesson learned|| |
erstellt: 19.09.2006 15:08:28
Mr. Cikoch was a biology instructor at a snobby suburban girl's junior college. During class one day he asked his student, "Miss Simison, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Simison gasped, and then said, "Mr. Cikoch, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this. "With that she sat down red-faced.
Mr. Cikoch then called on Miss Hakar and asked the same question. Miss Hakar, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr. Cikoch. "And now, Miss Simison, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
|Dr. Suess Writes for Star Trek TNG|| |
erstellt: 20.09.2006 18:09:43 geändert: 20.09.2006 18:10:43
by Dave Fuller
Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?
Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?
LaForge, please give us factor nine.
But, sir, the engines are offline!
Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!
But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great!
But surely we must not be late!
I'm sensing anger and great ire.
Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!
The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?
Computer, how long til we die?
Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems...
Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!
Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.
We still must save the Indran planet --
Which (by the way) is made of granite...
Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand -- we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.
There's sabotage among the wires
And that's what started all the fires.
We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!
We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why?
Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.
Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven't even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?
Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
I can't just sit and let them die!
A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!
Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.
They may be dead by Tuesday noon.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*
The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun --
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.
Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?
I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.
My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end!
Now let's get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky!
LaForge, please tell me we can go...?
Yes, sir, we can.
Then make it so!
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