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Forum: "Something to laugh about 4"

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Animals - Test!neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: siebengscheit Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 17.09.2006 16:25:20 geändert: 17.09.2006 20:23:35

This is a Personality Test.
Just 4 questions and the answers will surprise you. Do not cheat by looking up the answers. The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened. This is fun to do, but you have to follow the instructions very closely. Do not cheat.

A Warning! Answer the questions as you go along. There are only four questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results. Go down slowly and do each exercise as you scroll down. Don't look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along. You will need it at the end. This is an honest questionnaire which will tell you a lot about your true self. Give an answer for each item.

1. Put the following 5 animals in the order of your preference:

2. Write one word that describes each one of the following:

3. Think of someone (who also knows you and is important to you) and that you can relate to the following colors (do not repeat your answer twice. Name just one person for each color.)

4. Finally, write down your favorite number and your favorite day of the week.

Look at the interpretations below...

Now the interpretations... (sorry, the interpretation for question 4 is missing!)

This will define your priorities in your life.

Cow Signifies CAREER
Tiger Signifies PRIDE
Sheep Signifies LOVE
Horse Signifies FAMILY
Pig Signifies MONEY

Your description of dog implies your own personality.
Your description of cat implies the personality of your partner.
Your description of rat implies the personality of your enemies.
Your description of coffee is how you interpret sex.
Your description of the sea implies your own life.

Yellow: Someone you will never forget
Orange: Someone you consider your true friend
Red: Someone that you really love
White: Your twin soul
Green: Someone that you will remember for the rest of your life
Author unknown

Note: That test is for entertainment only. It is not scientific. Don't be fooled!

und ...neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: raskolnikow Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 17.09.2006 16:49:51

die lieblingsziffer und der lieblingstag nur als beschäftigungsmaßnahme?


Unusual Conversionsneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 18.09.2006 22:00:28

1 million microphones =1 megaphone
2000 mockingbirds =two kilomockingbirds
10 cards =1 decacards
1 millionth of a fish =1 microfiche
453.6 graham crackers =1 pound cake
1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
2 monograms = 1 diagram
8 nickels = 2 paradigms
2 wharves = 1 paradox
1 millihelen = The amount of beauty required to launch a single ship

Lesson learnedneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 19.09.2006 15:08:28

Lesson Learned
Mr. Cikoch was a biology instructor at a snobby suburban girl's junior college. During class one day he asked his student, "Miss Simison, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Simison gasped, and then said, "Mr. Cikoch, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this. "With that she sat down red-faced.
Mr. Cikoch then called on Miss Hakar and asked the same question. Miss Hakar, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr. Cikoch. "And now, Miss Simison, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

Dr. Suess Writes for Star Trek TNGneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 20.09.2006 18:09:43 geändert: 20.09.2006 18:10:43

by Dave Fuller

Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?
Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?
LaForge, please give us factor nine.
But, sir, the engines are offline!
Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!
But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great!
But surely we must not be late!
I'm sensing anger and great ire.
Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!
The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?
Not me.
Not me.
Computer, how long til we die?
Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems...
Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!
Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.
We still must save the Indran planet --
Which (by the way) is made of granite...
Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand -- we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.
There's sabotage among the wires
And that's what started all the fires.
We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!
We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why?
Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.
Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven't even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?
Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
I can't just sit and let them die!
A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!
Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.
They may be dead by Tuesday noon.
The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun --
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.
Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?
I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.
My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end!
Now let's get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky!
LaForge, please tell me we can go...?
Yes, sir, we can.
Then make it so!

Elementary Teacher Quizneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: siebengscheit Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 22.09.2006 09:42:36 geändert: 22.09.2006 09:43:20

Are You A TRUE Elementary School Teacher?
Let's Find Out:

1. Do you ask guests if they have remembered their scarves and mittens as they leave your home?
2. Do you move your dinner partner's glass away from the edge of the table?
3. Do you ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as you enter a theater with a group of friends?
4. Do you hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes?
5. Do you refer to happy hour as "snack time"?
6. Do you declare "no cuts" when a shopper squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line?
7. Do you say "I like the way you did that" to the mechanic who repairs your car nice?
8. Do you ask "Are you sure you did your best?" to the mechanic who fails to repair your car to your satisfaction?
9. Do you sing the "Alphabet Song" to yourself as you look up a number in the phone book?
10. Do you say everything twice? I mean, do you repeat everything?
11. Do you fold your spouse's fingers over the coins as you hand him/her the money at a tollbooth?
12. Do you ask a quiet person at a party if he has something to share with the group?

* If you answered yes to 4 or more, it's in your soul -- you are hooked on teaching. And if you're not a teacher, you missed your calling.
* If you answered yes to 8 or more, well, maybe it's *too much* in your soul -- you should probably begin thinking about retirement.

* If you answered yes to all 12, forget it -- you'll *always* be a teacher, retired or not!

@Elementary School Teacherneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: rhauda Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 22.09.2006 18:01:18 geändert: 22.09.2006 18:01:38

Ich war mal mit einigen Kolleginnen bei einer GS-Lehrerin zum Kaffee eingeladen und nachdem sich die Haustür geöffnet hatte und wir in den Flur eintraten, kam ein ganz grundschulmäßiges:
"Soooooooooooooooooo....und jetzt hängen wir unser Jacken hier auf!"
Und das war kein Scherz!

Habt ihrneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: klexel Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 22.09.2006 18:17:32

denn wenigstens hinterher gemeinsam drüber gelacht?? Oder blieb das so im Raum stehen?

Hinterher schonneuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: rhauda Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 22.09.2006 18:56:25

Die Kollegin war generell etwas in die Richtung gepolt und wir haben es nur schmunzelnd hingenommen

40 Movie things - Take 1-10neuen Beitrag schreiben zur Forenübersicht   Seitenanfang
von: rhauda Userprofil anzeigen Nachricht senden erstellt: 22.09.2006 21:43:39

1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.
2. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired.
4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside.
6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.
9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.
10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

to be continued...

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