When I went to City Hall to renew my dog`s license, I told the clerk I wanted a license for Sex. He said, "I`d like one, too!" Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn`t care what she looked like. Then I said "You don`t understand. I`ve had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked at me and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took my dog with me. I told the motel clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. "You don`t need a special room for sex. As long as you pay your bill, we don`t care what you do." I said, "Look, you don`t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny, I have the same problem."
Well, one day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog got loose and ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, lookin disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. "Wonderful!If you sell tickets, you`ll clean up!"
But you don`t understand, I said. "I want to have Sex on TV." He said, "They already have that on cable. It`s no big deal anymore."
Well, my wife and I decided to separate, so we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said to the judge, "Your honor, I had Sex before i was married." The judge said, "The court is not a confessional. Please stick to the facts." Then I told him that after I was married Sex left me. He said, "Me, too."
Well, last night Sex ran away again, and I spent hours looking all over for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o`clock in the morning?" I said, "I`m looking for Sex."
My case comes up Friday.
by Morty Storm