|Forum: "Something to laugh about"
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|Did you know?|| |
erstellt: 16.04.2006 22:59:53 geändert: 10.05.2006 21:21:02
The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable."
The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in English.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
No word in English language rhymes with "month," "silver," "purple," or "orange."
The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.
"Underground" is the only word in English that begins and ends with the letters "und."
There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
The longest place-name still in use is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungt natahu, the Maori name of a hill in New Zealand.
Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reinade los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, L.A.
The verb "cleave" has definitions which are antonyms of each other: to adhere and to separate.
The verb "sanction" also has definitions which are antonyms: to sponsor and to ban.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
There is a seven-letter word in English that contains eleven words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, I, therein, herein.
'Stewardesses' is the longest English word that is typed with only the left hand.
"Facetious" and "abstemious" contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning "containing arsenic."
The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.
The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat," which means "the king is dead."
Only three words have entered English from Czech: polka, pilsner, and robot.
|What about ... Famous Last Words?|| |
erstellt: 17.04.2006 23:06:40
Famous Last Words
Oh, it doesn't taste poisoned to me!
Hey, this ice is thick enough to walk on!
Please trust me, I know what I'm doing!
Don't worry, they'll never find us in here!
I can't smell anything burning
I can't hear anything ticking
The light is green!
This gun isn't loaded
This isn't a real grenade.
This magic rock will protect me
That's not an active volcano
I can swim just fine
This bridge is pretty strong
Cobras don't attack humans
So what if it's midnight and I'm in the
His death threat wasn't serious
Don't worry, plane crashes are very rare
This city hasn't seen an earthquake for
There aren't any sharks
There's no death penalty in this country
Let me drive, I'm not drunk
Look, Luigi, I can pay you on Wednesday
My parachute won't open!
Yes, the barrel of your shotgun is very clean.
No, I'm sure they cleaned out this mine field years ago.
What, I never signed any organ donor papers!
Well, it can't get any worse!
This can’t be the self-destruct button. If it was, they wouldn't leave it lying around like this where anyone could push it!
William, is that you?
They can't hit us at this range!
All you have to do is connect these two wires.
There's only one way to find out...
Hey, when it comes to driving on snow
and ice, I'm the best.
These pills are awfully small. I'll take a
few more to be sure they work.
Gruß and - Have a nice week!
|Einer geht noch ...|| |
erstellt: 17.04.2006 23:09:18 geändert: 17.04.2006 23:10:00
Memo to all students:
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students,
it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our students
more S.H.I.T. than any other school. If you feel that you do not receive your share of
S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your teacher. You will be immediately placed at
the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our teachers are especially skilled at seeing that you
get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Students who don’t know S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take
D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our teachers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add
your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.)
For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and consultancy, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARACH EDUCATIONAL (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes on how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T. If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TEACHING SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.)
BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
Err, as I said, have a nice week!
|Einer meiner bevorzugten Witze auf Englisch ... Doberman|| |
erstellt: 17.04.2006 23:15:24 geändert: 17.04.2006 23:17:33
Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. By the way, don't worry about my Doberman. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT under ANY circumstances talk to my parrot!"
When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Doberman he had ever seen. But just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the parrot drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name-calling.
Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
So, nun ist aber Schluss für heute. Bis demnächst!
|The new Lexus|| |
erstellt: 17.04.2006 23:27:21
A lady bought a new Lexus (fancy car). Cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back, complaining that the radio was not working.
"Madam," said the sales manager, "the audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want..." She drove out, amazed and a little confused.
She looked at the radio and said "Nelson." The radio responded, "Ricky or Willie?" Soon, she was speeding down the highway to the sounds of “On the Road Again." The lady was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that's what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it. Suddenly, at a traffic light, her light turned green and she pulled out. Off to her right, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a small sports utility vehicle speeding toward her. She swerved and narrowly missed a head-on collision.
“ASSHOLE," she muttered.
And, from the radio....
"Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States."
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